Positive dating mens online dating behavior
That's why I initially avoided the entire conversation when I tried to get my groove back after Matt.
For a while, I either didn't disclose my status at all or disclosed way too late for a number of reasons.
But when you're the kind of person who equates dating with dinners, drinks, and casual sex, HIV can put a real damper on all that. Not only was I still trying to figure out what living with HIV meant, I couldn't just do that whole "put on your high heels and get back out there" thing that most newly single people do.
Dating with HIV, seriously or casually, is hard — even though it doesn't have to be.
Shame and fear was a part of it, but even more so I think there was a part of me that wanted to pretend that HIV hadn't happened to me.
That I could go on bad Tinder dates and laugh about them at brunch with my friends, get set up with friends, and pick up a guy when I was out for the night, just like everyone else.
I thought it was a formality I should finally take care of.
The positive result almost didn't compute at first.
Staying on treatment and keeping my viral load at undetectable levels means that I'm going to lead a long healthy life.I grew up during the HIV/AIDS crisis and should have known better, but as a heterosexual woman, I equated safe sex with not getting pregnant more than with getting an STI, let alone HIV. It's embarrassing to admit that now, but I really did ignorantly think sex was all fun and games.For me, "dating," was basically a euphemism for casual sex.I kept asking the nurse who took me upstairs at the Margaret Sanger Center in the East Village for a second blood test to confirm the rapid test result.I was in shock that simply sleeping with probably close to a hundred men throughout my 20s — in college, in Rome, Italy where I lived for five years, in New York City upon my return — and not being strict about using condoms could have such a serious consequence.